The Slang of Sex

Research shows that men and women use different terms to describe their sexual anatomies and to describe different aspects of the sexual experiences and relationships.

Men, for instance, tend to use power sexual slang, or “dirty” and aggressive words when describing sex (such as “f___ing”) and/or their partner’s bodies. Women not only discuss sex less frequently than men do, but they also tend to use cute sexual slang, or euphemisms when they talk about sex (such as “making love”), and/or ¬†describe body parts (such as using the term “va-ja-jay.”).

Given these differences, it’s important for couples to develop a common sexual vocabulary that is unique and personal to them, especially to find idioms for genitalia, sexual rituals, and routines. By cocreating and jointly sharing these expressions, couples create a unique relational culture within their sexual relationships.

In your relationship, has your sexual communication been subverted because you do not use the same sexual slang as your partner does? In your sexual communication, do you and your partner share the same meanings? What would you like to change about your sexual communication?

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