What’s Your Love Triangle Score?

Do you want a marriage that lasts? Do you want to live [almost] happily ever after? Then consummate love (not to be confused with consommé soup!) is what you want to strive for!

Consummate love is thought to be the most complete form of love, the love that’s associated with “perfect couples.”  Consummate means to develop something or to bring something to the point of perfection.

A perfect marriage? For real?  Yep.

Psychologist Robert Sternberg developed his Triangle Theory of Love, which conceptualizes eight different types of love relationships. Sternberg says that love isn’t a fixed experience—it’s a process that undergoes change over time, and it’s made up of three main things:

1.Intimacy:Feelings of closeness and connectedness deepen as we self-disclose—the more we disclose about private aspects of our lives, the deeper the trust becomes (and, the deeper the trust, the more we disclose). This trust, in turn, builds respect, affection, warmth, and the spiritual bond between couples. Intimacy takes time—and nurturing—to build, but it’s a prominent feature of love that lasts.

2.Passion: This refers to the physical attraction and romantic feelings that draw us to someone. Passion is the initial driving force in relationships. But it peaks quickly, and over time, reduces to a stable level (otherwise, we couldn’t get anything else accomplished!). At the same time, though, intimacy levels rise.

[PUSH THE PAUSE BUTTON:When passion begins to fade, it’s a good sign that the love is transitioning to a calmer love—to consummate love, a love that lasts! You are not falling out of love! The relationship is not over! Do not bail out! Stick it out, talk, and watch what happens next!]

3.Commitment: Simply put: Commitment is the decision to love someone else and to maintain the love over time. Loving another person is a conscious act of will—it is a deliberate choice. It’s putting forth your best effort in a relationship. No matter what.

I’ll be the first one to tell you that developing consummate love is tough. And maintaining it is even tougher.

That’s why I’m determined to write this blog, to help you get to that kind of love that no one can compete with! That kind of love that is so crazy hot Goliath himself couldn’t take you out of it. That kind of love you see in others and say to yourself (or out loud), I want that!

Stop in later and I’ll show you how all of this stuff about love ties together. In the meantime, time for another pop quiz!  Go here to see what kind of triangle of love you have. (When it asks for forename, it’s asking for your partner’s first name. It took me a second to figure that out. J).

 

 

Photo Credit: B Rosen (flickr.com)

 

Comments

  1. golfballawackerguy says:

    I got a 97% for intimacy, a 99% for passion, and a 100% for commitment
    My partner got a 89% for intimacy, a 92% for passion, and a 100% for commitment.

    Good Quiz :)

  2. Dr. Kelly Welch says:

    Awesome! You two are a great match!

  3. Kelsey Standefer says:

    Mine

    Your Love Type:Consumate Love

    ——————————————————————————–
    According to your answers, your relationship appears to be based on Consummate Love.
    Consummate Love is the ideal type of love for romantic couples. Easier to establish, than to maintain.

    Intimacy: 81%

    Passion: 77%

    Commitment: 96%

    His

    Your Love Type:Consumate Love

    ——————————————————————————–
    According to your answers, your relationship appears to be based on Consummate Love.
    Consummate Love is the ideal type of love for romantic couples. Easier to establish, than to maintain.

    Intimacy: 92%

    Passion: 88%

    Commitment: 99%

  4. Dr. Kelly Welch says:

    Kelsey–You have consummate love! Now the tough part…maintaining it! This is fantastic that you and your partner have achieved this!

    Take the quiz every few months and re-align anything that needs to be corrected. Every-so-often course corrections are easier than waiting till you're waaaaaaaaaaaay off course!

    Thanks for sharing!
    kelly :)

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